Pressing On

My name is Oscar and I’m a polar bear. For most of the year I live near the North Pole, which is at the top of the Earth. The first two things you probably think about when you hear “North Pole” is cold and snow. You’re right about the snow.We get snowstorms almost everyday and I was six years old before I saw grass. That was when I first came to visit Mrs. Forte here in Circleville.
You may notice how white my soft and smooth fur is. It helps me blend in to the snow so I can sneak around without other animals seeing me. This helps me get dinner and hide from my mom when she wants me to help with the dishes.
Even with all the snow, I don’t get cold. My skin is actually black underneath my fur. Dark colors absorb a lot of heat from the sun so this helps me stay warm even when I have to go to school when it’s windy and snowing. Another design feature that allows me to live a good life at the North Pole is my hollow fur. It sounds crazy, I know, but each one of my furs is hollow. This helps it insulate my body better. It gives my skin a layer of warm air between me and the cold air.
Getting food is a lot different in Circleville compared to the North Pole. At home, I wake up in the morning and walk down to the fishing hole for a fish breakfast. Sometimes I jump in the ocean and swim around looking for lunch or dinner, but I eat fish pretty much all the time. It’s a good thing I love fish, isn’t it? It’s actually very healthy for people to eat fish too. I haven’t seen a fishing hole or an ocean around here. I asked Mrs. Forte where she gets her food and she took me to Krogers. I tried to sit in the cart while we went back to the fish counter, but a person who works at the store told me they have a strict No Polar Bears policy. I waited outside and a few minutes later Mrs. Forte came out with a stack of metal cans of tuna. It’s a good thing she bought a lot because I love the stuff! Sometimes at night when Mrs. Forte is sleeping, I sneak into the kitchen and open a few cans of tuna and mix in apple butter. That’s my favorite midnight snack.
Well, that’s about all I can think of to write. If you have any questions, please ask.

Your favorite polar bear,
Oscar

Waiting is a hard thing. So hard that often, I am tempted to skip it or even to get out of my seat, throw away my thin paper number in the waste can and walk out the door. (BMV=waiting). I’ve had about two weeks of closeness with God, a sort of communion with Christ. While at home, He seeks me, I fell. When I get in bed, I tell Him to wake me up and speak to me in the middle of the night if He so desires. Every night I’ve prayed that, he’s woken up and we’ve spent time in scripture and prayer. It’s really been a friendship, the likes of which I haven’t experienced until now. And It’s AWESOME! It’s not because of anything I’ve done. I asked Him to wake me up one night at 3 am and speak to me. I was surprised when He did because I never wake up in the middle of the night. I’ve been searching for answers about my next step–should I do this or that? Last night I read the first chapter of Jeremiah. It tells of the prophet’s calling and God’s promise to strengthen him if he is faithful and trusts God’s power. God calls him a fortified city, an iron pillar and a wall of bronze. He is to go and preach God’s truth to people and to not be dismayed by his audience. If he is, God will dismay him before them.
Isn’t it interesting (or is it something more) that Travis challenged us yesterday to follow through with Ezekial 33?

I also was thinking about Jeremiah 6:16–stand in the ways and ask for the ancient paths.

A few days previous I’d gotten excited about Galatians 1, because it talks about Paul’s call and how he didn’t even consult with fellow men, but was confident in his divine calling. But I’m no Paul. Since I wasn’t blinded and scales haven’t fallen off my eyes (yet), I’m not going to claim that passage is talking about me. And already I’m trying to obey all that’s commanded in Galatians. I’m trying to die to my own desires, which bring nothing but hurt and disappointment to me and those around me, but I’m trying to live instead with Christ’s life inside me. That is to say, I’m trying to read His word and pray to Him and thus, rely on Him for guidance as to how to live my life.

and so for now, I think I’m in a holding pattern. I just need to stick it out. I need to keep in communion with God. I need to keep seeking His face and in that, He’ll give me direction in His time. It’s just the waiting for His time that’s the hard part.

There’s a lot of leftover salt on the road because it was melting the snow and ice. Actually, there may be more salt rusting my car than there is on the road.

i’m talking wednesday night at youth group about matthew 5:13. Jesus said we are the salt of the earth. we, as believers, are called to be different. People have a right to demand us to be different. We serve a God who created the universe, rose from the dead, says He’s the only way to heaven, did miracles…

But we blend in too often. Christians act like everyone else or we do act differently–in bad ways. Sometimes we judge, forgetting that we’re saved by God only because He has mercy on us. We do like to judge. It’s a hard urge to beat and it’s something I fail at constantly.

Here’s something I’ve been amazed by recently.

salt was expensive so isn’t it interesting that paul tells believers in corinth 1 cor. 6:20 “you were bought with a price”

i think it’s also interesting that Lev. 2:13 all offerings included salt and the letter to the romans, romans 12:1 says “present yourselves living sacrifices.”

it all links back to we are salt–awesome how a book written in different languages by 40 writers on different continents over the course of 1500 years fits together so well.

Here are some more of my thoughts.

how awesome would it be if 1peter 3:14-5 came true? if people would see us and wonder why we’re different–how awesome would it be if our lives made people thirsty for what makes our lives different?

gal. 1:10 who are you trying to please? are you succeeding?

is your life different from that of your friends? do you ever talk to non-Christians? being surrounded by believers is vital. but remember, there’s people all around you who need your salt. you’re carrying around the truth and most people at school don’t know about it.

Hopefully God will pull together all this info and bring His truth Wednesday. I love these kids. It pumps me up more than anything to hear about them discovering things in Scripture, or asking real questions or hearing them tell about how they spoke truth into some folks’ lives. I love it. Maybe I should do this full-time or something.

isn’t it interesting that Jesus called His believers to be salt to the world, that Paul says we’re to be living sacrifices and that Leviticus 2 reminds us that the Jewish folks had to have all their grain offerings mixed with salt?

we are failing at this so bad.

Looking at my very brief summary of this blog, I realized that peanut butter hasn’t been the subject of any entry. It’s never even been a piece of content. Outlandish. I won’t falsely advertise. So, without further ado, here is half of the results of my Trader Joe’s expedition today:

Our weekend was a phenomenal one. We kicked it off at 7 pm when some folks in our youth group started rolling in. We didn’t know how many people to expect, but man, word spreads fast within the group–we had about 15 folks. Evidently we don’t have 15 chairs in the house and we were scrounging lawn chairs and a card table and chairs. I played a game of euchre while sitting on the floor in front of the fridge. A bunch were playing Halo, football and a zombie-killing game in the basement and they all seemed to like the shag carpet.

At about 11 the Bateses rang the bell and we kicked everyone else out. Without being asked, the youth carried the tv back upstairs, plugged it back in and cleaned up everything. We were impressed. I don’t give these high schoolers enough credit.

Ben and Sarah and Krista and I talked for an hour and then decided it was time for bed, not Halo. Our plan–to do the unthinkable and not play disc golf. It’s probably the first time that’s happened in the past year. Instead, we chose the warmer(?) option–to go with the Old Man’s Cave winter hike. It was a wise decision. Once we got walking and all warmed up, I was glad Ben convinced us to go. The beans and cornbread at the halfway mark were as good as I remember from years past and the scenery along the trail was unparalleled.

we got back home and the girls napped while Ben and I killed Halo aliens–just like the good ol’ college days. then they took off on their 2.5-hour drive home and Krista and I planned Sunday School. We spoke about why the disciples, who had to have known the truth about the resurrection, would have died for a lie. I got sucked into a lot of research, looking up stuff about the Jewish historian Flavius Josephus (keep that name in mind, future parents). Sunday morning went pretty well, I thought, as things were explained clearly. Then we were off to lunch at Tumbleweed. It’s a nice thankyou that our youth pastor gives us every year for helping with the youth. It’s cool to think about the seeds we are planting and the cool growth we’re allowed to see while serving in this position.

After lunch was the pool table. Not much to say about that except that we have great friends–Travis, Damon, Nate, Robbie, Eric, and Dustin, you guys rock. We moved the behemoth in three hours and now, a 10-year dream of mine has come true. Krista and I played the first game tonight. Everyone took off kinda quick, probably because they had things to do, but man, it’s hard to find six people who’ll drop what they’re doing for three hours on a Sunday just to help someone else move a 1,000-lb table. Wow, God really likes us.

here’s some pics.

Wow, I’ve been away for a while. i think Ben’s the only one who reads this, though, so he’ll survive. speaking of whom, Ben sent me the word on run kid run’s song “freedom.” what a great song. it talks about how we praise God and hate on our brothers and sisters with the same mouth–a little pulled from the book of James. man, this is a big problem i have. with my mind i admire beauty, think grand thoughts of God’s love, think up ways to praise God, and then, with the same mind, i think of all kinds of hatred, judgement and other bad stuff. what a contradiction. what a hypocritical mind i have. but it is a good song, so check it out. so is “buck” by flame 

and that song brings up an whole other deal-am i really hungry for salvation? do i care if i plant seeds that may save people from hell? what the hell do i care about it not that? if i’m not praying for that end, i’m wasting my time. i hate my selfishness. i hate that i’ve recieved the greatest gift God can give me and then i sit on my hands and act the part of just another churchy christian judger. i hate it. that’s not Christ at all. Jesus didn’t care about much besides saving the lost. afterall, the doctor doesn’t give meds to those who are well.

and what does a writer do when he can’t rewrite a quote better than the quote itself?

Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed
Can’t stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head
feel like a disappointment like the scum of the earth
I’m so hurt I know you see I can’t cover my dirt
my soul’s dying, heart’s weak and I can’t even cry
I’m s’posed to run to you, but WHY I’m such an evil guy?
The sun’s shining, but for me, it’s the darkest of days
Try to pretend it never happened, but the guilt remains
I leave the house, it feels like everybody knows I did it
Feel like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed
Through your blood I’m aquitted but my heart doesn,t get it
Oh God I’m desperate for Help cause I’m grieving your Spirit
I couldn’t sing in the sunday service, Lord I felt fake
and when they started communion I just made an escape
I’m in need of your grace/ feels like you hid your face
Lord, Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased
(“Desperate” Lecrae F/ Cam)
describes me perfectly. who’d ever think i’d say that about a rap song?

Lord, reveal yourself to me and make me bold. Make me love the people around me with actions and not just words. Make me Your servant. If i say i love people, i can’t keep the truth from them fearing they’ll think i’m weird. that’s hypocrisy. Lord, thank you for making my beliefs based on historical, archaeological, and logical facts. You alone are worthy of all i have. i’ll try harder to follow You.

seriously, i want to. what else can i do? what else is worth time? i’ve become more and more convinced these last several days that what God wants most is a relationship with me. it’s not a power trip thing, but He wants me to come and trust Him with important decisions and wisdom. that’s a pretty tough thing since God is invisible and doesn’t usually speak in an audible voice. that’s why faith is such a requirement to seeking God. we have to choose to believe He is who He says He is. and when we do that and we pay attention to what happens around us, i think most times we’ll see evidence of His presence and His loving providence.

for the past three or four days my stomach has been awful. a college buddy came over to pick up some stuff and i thought i was going to ralph all over him. throwing up is my biggest fear in life second only to heights, and so it was a stressful time for me. and even though this exact thing has been replaying itself in my life since july 2005, and even though the doctors are clueless, i have hope that i’ll survive and i’ll beat this thing, either in fact or in a body-over-mind thing.

and now i’m going to try to trust God with something else–my future. i want to be a elementary school teacher, but don’t know quite where to start. should i go for licensure right off the bat? word is, since i’m a guy, i’ll get a job wherever i go. i find that hard to believe, but i do understand that a bachelor’s degree candidate is cheaper to hire than one with a masters. 

the second question is, do i do full-time and try to find a job or internship or do i go part-time and keep my job? help me pay attention to God’s answers.

shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth
serve the LORD with gladness;|come before HIM with joyful singing.
know that the LORD Himself is GOD;
it is HE who has made us, and not we ourselves;
we are HIS people and the sheep of HIS pasture.

enter HIS gates with thanksgiving
and HIS courts with praise.
give thanks to HIM, bless HIS name.
for the LORD is good;
HIS lovingkindness is everlasting
and HIS faithfulness to all generations.

Thanksgiving is coming up. turkey dark meat, green beans, creamy mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing and corn bread. i can smell it already. well, Krista and i married two weeks ago yesterday and were reminded of our two-week anniversary by my boy. i’ll post pics on facebook when we gather them all in. the honeymoon was great and so was everything else. so far, marriage is what i expected. it’s a lot like dating only now we live together. and it’s great. 

Krista and i have tons to be thankful for–our relationship, warm house, plenty of food, friends, family, health, good jobs and not much worry. we’re thankful for our computer, our bed, our cars, gasoline and i’m thankful for Krista’s amazing chili. we’re thankful for banjo music, sweet wine, new mexico, cedar falls and willow trees. and mostly, we’re thankful for hope and grace we’ve been shown by God.

i’m looking at this from my own perspective so i’m probably wrong, but for what are people who don’t believe in a caring God thankful? can they be thankful for family? according to their perspective, we’re placed in our families by random chance. can we be thankful for friends? the same thing applies–people meet randomly in this agnostic view. can they be thankful for their job? again, if everything happens randomly, i can’t credit my job to my own hard work. there are many hard workers in other countries who don’t have a shot at landing a good american job or buying a solid house.

without God, i don’t know what people are thankful for. if i’m wrong, give me a shout and tell me how i’m wrong.

we’re loving life and i’m getting ready to eat some chili. praise GOD for the sun coming through the window into the kitchen!